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Recommendations for Family Members and Loved Ones

The following are general guidelines for those whose loved one is struggling with an eating disorder.

• Remember that he/she has the food problem and it is up to him/her to do the work.
• It is important to see your loved one separate from the eating disorder. Treat the eating disorder as an illness that he or she is recovering from.
• NO ONE IS TO BLAME FOR A LOVED ONE DEVELOPING AN EATING DISORDER.
• Encourage and practice honesty.
• Be patient, sympathetic, nonjudgmental and a good listener. Let your loved one know you have his or her best interest at heart.
• Accept that recovery is a process and does not happen quickly.
• You are limited in what you can do. Avoid the temptation of being controlling of his or her life.
• When his or her behavior affects you, express yourself without expressing guilt or blame. Utilize “I” messages while explaining your feelings and concerns.
• Demonstrate compassion. Your loved one will experience difficult feelings as they get in touch with issues underlying their behavior with food.
• Encourage your loved one to express his or her feelings and thoughts.
• Encourage your loved one to seek professional help.
• Do not make mealtime a battleground.
• Your loved one is responsible for his/her behaviors when they affect others.
• You can’t do it alone. Seek help and support for yourself.